Diego Simeone's ball-grabbing joins football's imperishable managerial celebrations

Diego Simeone 
Diego Simeone reacts to Atletico Madrid's opening goal against Juventus.  Credit: BT Sport

While footballers temporarily blinded by the red mist or lost in a moment of madness are generally treated with love and understanding, we expect our managers to abide by higher standards of decorum. 

Perhaps it's the British instinct to trust anyone wearing a shirt and tie, but a certain degree of emotional control and detachment is desired from the older and wiser occupants of the dugout. 

Sometimes however, walking the tightrope between genius and fraud produces such strain that the player inside every manager remerges - and there is nothing like a goal celebration to bring this to the surface. 

That was the case for the demonic Diego Simeone on Wednesday after Atletico's opening goal against Juventus, moments after the Video Assistant Referee chalked off an Alvaro Morata header. 

The Atletico manager decided to give the video monitor the same view Louis van Gaal once offered the Bayern Munich dressing room by thrusting his cojones towards the camera. 

"It's not a nice gesture, I admit, but I felt the need to do it," Simeone said after the game.

"I did it as a player at Lazio and I did it again to show our fans that we have cojones. I can only apologise if anyone was offended."

Displays of manhood and virility are not unheard of in management - Tony Pulis once head-butted James Beattie while stark naked in the Stoke City dressing room. If that doesn't compel you to pick up at corners, nothing will. 

Here are some more positive examples of managerial exuberance although rest assured, the darker side of the human condition is still present in some. 

Bob Stokoe's Wembley run, 1973

No, not the guy who wrote the Dracula books - Sunderland's FA Cup-winning manager whose celebration after their shock win over Leeds United in the final filled a thousand cup montages. 

Dressed like an on-course bookmaker at a National Hunt race meeting in corduroys and rain mac, Stokoe hot-footed his way across the hallowed turf to celebrate with his now immortal players. 

Being an Englishman with a certain reserve though, he did his best to disguise the fact he was doing something so vulgar as running, resulting in a gangly and uncoordinated jog. 

With arms out-stretched and the belt of his coat flapping in his trail, there was an innocence to Stokoe's antics, like the lad who raced down the cobbled street on his bike in the Hovis advert of the same era. 

You don't see many coaches sport a trilby in 2019 but, as the end of the clip reveals, desperate times call for desperate measures. 

 Sir Alex Ferguson and Brian Kidd in Fergie time, 1993

There was a Norman Wisdom quality to some of late-Sir Alex Ferguson's celebrations, and he was always particularly fond of heading in imaginary crosses whenever the ball flew across the penalty area. 

Back in the more supple days of 1993 however, Ferguson and his assistant Brian Kidd attempted something a little more adventurous. 

Steve Bruce's 96th-minute winner against Sheffield Wednesday put United in pole position for their first title in 26 years, and with Martin Tyler's commentary on top bookmarked the onset of 'modern football' in many ways. 

Ferguson stopped short of running on the pitch but Kidd could not be saved, leaping into the air as high as a could. Which turned out to be not that high at all. 

Ferguson Kidd
Sir Alex Ferguson's Manchester United on the way to their first Premier League title Credit: Sky Sports

Jose Mourinho steals the limelight, 2004

We touched upon the idea that a manager's celebrations are an expression of the former player trapped inside them.

In Jose Mourinho's case, you sense an everlasting frustration at the fact he was never a player. Not so much as an average one. He failed to make the grade professionally altogether.

So much of his off-field behaviour starts to make sense when you realise he is trying to make up for lost time, and for the adulation and attention players receive that he was denied. 

We could have chosen his sprinkler-sodden celebration at the Nou Camp, shushing Liverpool fans, ear-cupping Juventus fans, shaking hands prematurely at Highbury, smashing water bottles or a myriad of other camera-hogging incidents. 

Mourinho's touchline sprint after Porto's decisive goal at the Old Trafford on their way to Champions League glory was the original of the genre, however. 

Jose Mourinho
Jose Mourinho jumps in the air as he celebrates beating Manchester United Credit: Reuters

In mitigation, it seems fairly likely that Mourinho was acting on impulse and not fulfilling any premeditated choreography when he tore down the line to celebrate Costinha's decisive goal. 

There was more vim and vigour in his run than Stokoe, and his coat was approximately 1,284 times more expensive. 

What many forget is that Mourinho continued his frenzied celebrations at full-time, skirting across the pitch beneath a torrent of flicked Vs and vituperation from the Stretford End. 

Something they would feel like giving him again some years later

Arsene Wenger's jig, 2009

When not admonishing Alan Pardew for over-celebrating, Arsene Wenger's own celebrations were often more animated than many assume. 

Two clenched fists raised to the sky became a trademark pose, but Wenger added flourish when Emmanuel Adebayor put clear daylight between Arsenal and Villarreal in a 2009 Champions League quarter-final. 

Kicking his knees up towards his chest, the Arsenal boss broke into a little jig that resembled the gyrating of an elderly aunt dancing with the children at a wedding. 

Never have a free bar and a five-hour wait for the food. 

Alan Pardew's mating call, FA Cup final 2016 

It takes some doing to turn the public against the underdog in an FA Cup final, especially when their opponents are Manchester United. 

Alan Pardew managed it though. As soon as he produced this celebration after Jason Puncheon's opening goal for Crystal Palace, not only were we sure they were not going to win, we were sure we didn't want them to. 

Are they moves Pardew had previously pressed into action during lost summer weeks in Marbella? Had he practiced them in front of the mirror? Does he only wear aftershave with the word 'sport' on the bottle? We couldn't possibly comment. 

One only hopes Van Gaal dropped his pants in front of him as suitable punishment. 

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